Giant bowl of guac

Guacamole. It's one of those things that makes me happy to live in the time that I do. Yeah, ther modern age gave me my beloved smart phone (which found that vegan pizza photo eventually), lolcats, and birth control--but without the availabilty and diversity of the foods I now know and love, I would be a less smiley person. Especially as a vegan--I've said it before and I'll say it again, but ethnic foods are a vegan lifesaver when you're eating out, since are often accidentally vegan. Inari sushi anyone? Chana masala? Stir fry? Cheeselss basil and tomato pizza? Hummus or falafel? Bean burrito..with guacamole?
I've brought guac to office pot lucks a couple times. It's been wildly popular. It might be because I buy a bag of 5 avocados and make a giant batch, and everyone loves a bowl of guac the size of your head, but...I also like to think I make a decent guac too.
It's easy. You can vary this recipe if you want (variations are listed), but it's basics, and makes everyone happy. And if you've never made guacamole before, this'll help you awaken to how easy and satisfying it is!
The only critical ingredients is ripe avocados. They're ripe when the skin is dark green and they yield a little to the pressure of your finger. If they yield a lot they're over-ripe, and will be brown inside. There's nothing wrong with the brown bits, they just taste bad, and look bad. If you're planning on making guac for an upcoming event, plan ahead. If your grocery store usually stocks unripe avocados, go to the store 5 days or so in advance, and buy unripened avocados and leave them on the counter until you need them. If you're making the gauc in advance, put it in a bowl, smooth the top, squeeze half a lime over it and cover it with plastic wrap so that no guac is exposed to the air. In a pinch, this way you can keep the guac over night with minimal browning.
Otherwise, the rest is easy!

Recipe makes a bowl of guac the size of your head.

5 avocados, halved, seeded, skins removed and mashed
half a red onion, chopped very fine
bunch of cilantro (coarse stems removed), and chopped
one lime, at room temperature, juiced (they yield more juice a room temperature)
optional: 1 or 2 fresh tomatoes, seeded or unseeded, chopped; 1/2  cup salsa; fresh (seeded or unseeded) or jarred chopped jalapenos to taste; chipotles and adobo sauce to taste; 1 or more cloves of garlic, chopped fine; hot sauce to taste more onion
Combine all ingredients, and whichever optional items as you wish. Clearly, tomatoes and salsa kinda cancel each other out, as do jalapenos and chipotles, so use your judgement. Serve with tortilla chips, home-toasted tortilla shells, crackers--whatever your heart desires! And if you have margaritas with it, then so much the better.